I found I had time for a run yesterday and was so thankful for this much needed time to be alone and reflect. The weather was perfect, wisps of clouds and 70 degree weather. As I tuned out the world, watched the birds and rabbits, listened to my favorite tunes, my mind was able to reflect on these past 4 years of waiting for Lauren. The highs and lows, the doubts, patiently listening to strangers give their advice, the inspiration of friends and family, the friendships I have found on the way...the realization washed over me that we are next. Next to recieve our referral, next to see Lauren's sweet face.
My mind at times wandered also to how against all common sense our move is. At a time where the economy is faltering, people are losing their jobs... at a time that we should be saving...we are about to deplete our savings account and go to China. God reminded me at this time, of his clear signs he gave us at the beginning that seem so long ago now. The drive home from our Memorial Day camping trip in 2005, the night drive to San Diego a few months later, where Dan and I got chills the sign was so clear. The sign that we were to walk in faith and start the process of adopting our Lauren.
Well, little did I know I would be recieving another sign at the end of my run. As my mind swayed between doubt and excitement, I noticed school was just letting out as I ran by. Dollar signs, calculations, thoughts of my uncle who just lost his job were swarming my mind and then the sign...
A little 4-year-old Chinese girl with long black hair, pink pants and a flowered top came running right toward me with her arms stretched out..running as fast as she could with a huge smile on her face and looking what seemed to be directly at me. As she got closer I could hear her voice over my music saying, "Mommy!!" My heart dropped and tears almost sprang up. In seconds she ran just past me to her mom that was just behind me. I instantly looked up to the sky and knew God was giving me a glimpse into my future and letting me know, it will all be worth the wait and that God is in control. I will never forget these signs from God. He has been amazing over these years.
Thank you all who have followed our journey to Lauren. Please know you will be the first to know when I have seen her face. :)
I love all of you and am so thankful for your encouragement, letters, cards, friendships, encouraging words, and most of all for your Faith.
9 comments:
God knows when we need them the most. Hang in there, we are so excited for you guys and can't wait to watch your journey as a family of three!!
Suz
NEXT! Lauren is coming home!
It is amazing to reflect on all that has changes in the years that we have been waiting. All the highs and lows...and yet, here we are. Who knew?!
We are only 4 to 5 WEEKS away from "meeting" Lauren. What a thrill!
I dare you to try to keep count of how many times you check in on Rumor Queen between now and then!!! tee hee
Big hugs,
Mary
Oh Mardi, I'm sitting here crying like a baby! God is so good and your journey to Lauren has been so blessed and is about to be magical. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I can't wait for the day I see you holding your sweet girl in your arms.
Wow...what would we do without these sweet signs from above that give so much hope? God is so gracious, loving, and soo aware of our needs. May you be blessed with all the greatest blessings, its amazing to see friends and blessings come out of the woodwork! You and Dan continue to be in my prayers, what a great comfort they bring when all of life seems to be changing. After 13 years of planning for me to be a stay at home mom, the economy can be really scary. Our savings is nearly gone, I'm drastically cutting down my hours, and honestly feel quite calm about it. I know the Lord will bless us and all will be well as we continue to follow him. Thinking of you and can't wait to celebrate your joy as well!
Hi Mardi,
I've been away from the blogger world for a while and I JUST saw your post. I've been thinking of you and Dan with great excitement knowing you are next. I am so happy for you both... Next.... I can hardly believe it! :)
The past three years have been a true test of faith, patience, endurance and love that does not waiver. The sign God give you was such a blessing and a beautiful taste of what's to come. Beautiful.
Love to you both. I can not wait to see this miracle unfold!!
Hello mardi and dan-- I think of you all the time and wonder how you are. I told dan a long time ago thati think it's not about you being ready for your child but your child is ready for you. When she is ready you will go and it will be as it needs to be. I have never met a family that said they got the "wrong" child. I know how it feels to be nervous about love and attachment-- it isn't instant, it comes with time, but less time than you can imagine. I have total faith that you will be wonderful parents. Shevwill need you and you will be there.
Many hugs
Ridley (MacLean)
Jen and I are behind you two all the way and are so excited. I think all the time about the kids playing together. I can't wait. we are always here to help in any way possible. Let's get together soon,
Greg
Print this post and put it in whatever journal or scrapbook you may be keeping for Lauren. What a beautiful, heartwarming post. I was nearly drawn to tears.
When I was teaching second grade and in the waiting process for our Spicy Girl, I saw a Chinese toddler in our hallway after school. She was with her Mommy getting a drink of water from the water fountain. I walked up to them and asked about her daughter. I found out she was adopted from China, and I was then able to share my story. That mom and I became fast friends...as her older daughter was in Kindergarten at our school. I will never forget that moment...knowing that I would be the mommy one day soon.
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