Dreams, Tears, and Kisses

I'm famous for saying, "I don't produce tears"...but come to find out...I do. Maybe a part of this wait has been to soften my heart and let my walls crumble in preparation for giving all of me to my daughter.

KISSES IN THE WIND
(for our daughter in China)

We hold you in our hearts
and touch you in our dreams.
You are here each day with us,
at least that's how it seems.

We know you wonder where we are...
what's taking us so long.
But remember child,
We love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze
and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always,
We blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand
until We can be with you.
We promise you, our darling,
We're doing all that We can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family
for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always,
We blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms
and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses
that We send to you each night.
--- Unknown

One Degree Closer to Insanity

My hotslings were delivered today. I bought them to carry Lauren with me and to help with our bonding. Well, since our travel plans are on hold, I have resorted to carrying Bailey. :)

Travel on Hold, but possible referral batch out!

It's been an extra busy week this week, so I haven't been able to post, but I wanted to post a quick note before heading out. First of all, our travel has been put on hold indefinetly until the swine flu scare is over and China allows us to travel. We have cancelled our flights and they are on hold now.

BUT...Mary may be getting her call today!! Oh I so pray she does!! I will be thinking of you all day Mary! I remember the day I got my call and I was shaking with excitement. It's been a long time coming and I am so excited that my good friend Mary may get to see her daughter's face soon! Who knows, maybe we will even travel together.

Off to clinical now...

My Baby Shower

My family and friends put on the nicest baby shower I have ever been to last Saturday. Pink Oriental laterns hung from the ceiling, music that was on my blog over the years played in the background, M&M's with Lauren's little face on them as well as her birthdate and my favorite scriptures for her, a beautiful yummy cake with one of Steph's designs on the top and personalized with Lauren's name, a garden stone made with thought and hard work that quotes, "For this Child I prayed", fun games including one called "adoption maddness" ;), the list goes on. What meant the most to me was having all my family and friends together and thinking and dreaming of Lauren's arrival very, very soon!

The Arizona Adoption Mama's made there appearance as as pictured above! :)

Thank you everyone for the beautiful, amazing, baby shower. My cheeks hurt for days from smiling so much. :)

Have Tickets--Will Travel!!

Well, things have turned around today. Our travel dates were confirmed, our Consulate appointments were made and we bought our tickets! We leave June 2nd and return June 19th! We had planned on leaving the 3rd, but tickets were much higher on that day for some reason, so our travel agent suggested the 2nd!

We are flying round trip (including our PHX to SFO trip) for $824.00/person! Pretty awesome eh? By the way, travel agent, Sue Sorrel was recommended by CHI, and she has been great to work with and got us a great price and also a good flight schedule with plenty of time between flights, etc. We are flying from SFO to Tokyo then to Beijing on Japan Airlines. Sue said it was a great airline, so we are happy!! :)

I will be truly happy once my dear friend Mary gets her referral. Please pray the referrals are sent soon.

Coping

While at work today, I thought I would check my email quickly for any news on our travel approval. I found an email that made my heart drop. I quickly told my co-worker I needed to step out for a minute and shaking, I called Mary.

The email said that our travel approval's have arrived, however...

"there is an adoptive family in Guangzhou quarantined because they took the flight Northwest 29 from US to Beijing with a passenger who is confirmed to have H1N1 (Swine Flu) yesterday. The family was dismissed from White Swan Hotel and was sent to a hotel out of the downtown Guangzhou area. The family’s body temperature is normal. The family will be quarantined 7 days and they will be free at that time, if there is no symptom like fever or flu. The family was scheduled to meet their child this afternoon, but they have no choice but to wait until after the quarantine. The guide and the driver are asked to stay at home and take body temperature everyday for 7 days. They are all under the observation of the Guangzhou Disease Control Center.This is not the only case. There is another family scheduled to meet their child this afternoon, who is quarantined in Beijing now.
So our coming families may meet the similar situation. At that time, they have no choice but to go through the quarantine process to see whether they could finish the adoption process.

CHI is not in control over the Disease Control Centers in China. So if a family is quarantined in China, CHI is not able to help the family and will not be responsible for any related financial costs.

Your travel approvals were received and we are now in the process of requesting your appointments at the American Consulate. We will need a response from each family today regarding their travel to China. The CCAA has extended the expiration date of your travel approval from 3 months to 5 months.

Yes, you wish to travel in June to China or No, you wish to delay your travel until the situation has changed in China."

After collecting myself, I responded with: Yes, I wish to get my daughter as soon as possible.

Driving home today I was exhausted and needing to just cry. I numbly pulled into my neighborhood Albertson*'s and bought the items above.

Going to China? Say. I. Wont.

TA's Have Been Mailed

Good news! TA's (Travel Approvals) have been mailed from the CCA*A. Our agency was notified today that TA's were sent out yesterday. So, we should be getting our approval soon, there are still a couple of steps before we know for sure that our travel dates are solidified and thus we cannot buy our tickets yet, but we're getting close!

Tentative travel dates subject to change:

Thurs, June 4. leave the US

Fri, June 5, arrive in BJ

Sat,June 6 , sightseeing in BJ : TianAnMen Square, Forbidden City and the Great Wall (Juyongguan), lunch is included; CHI orientation

Sun,June 7 , fly to province, ;(may meet children this day)

Mon,June 8, or meet your child and do adoption process

Tues-Sat,June 9-13 free days and sightseeing while waiting for the paperwork for your children

Sun, June 14, Fly to Guangzhou

Mon,June 15, free day

Tues, June 16, medical exam for children,

Wed, June 17.first choice for ACS appt

Thurs, June 18 take oath at the ACS and get child’s visa late in the day (depending on confirmed date at the ACS)

Fri, June 19 , return to US. (depending on the confirmed ACS appt date)


I have soo much to do. I am trying hard to not freak out and just take one thing at a time, however, there are so many unknowns and it's hard to feel prepared.

I'm really excited for my baby shower this Saturday! My mom, family, and friends have done so much for this special day. I was at my mom's house the other day and she had huge ladders in her living room and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "Preparing for your shower!" :) I have such an amazing, wonderful, supportive network around me, I truly don't know what I would be doing right now without all of you!!

Below are a couple more pictures of the nursery. The picture above the crib is Steph's artwork. It is so beautiful, the camera shot really doesn't do it justice. Thanks again Steph!

Praying for Good News

Well, it has been pretty quiet from our agency lately. The question as to whether the H1N1 flu will slow our travel approval (TA) is still to be decided. Our agency did report that so far things are running as usual unless the CCA*A (China adoptin agency) or CD*C stops travel. They also sent an email today letting us know we now have to fill out a "申报表 Declaration Form" to attach to our Visa application. This form asks us to report what US states and other countries we have visited recently. It is believed this form is in response to the flu outbreak and surveillance of who enters China.

I'm missing Lauren so much and just want to hold her tonight. I've contemplated leaving early and camping out in front of her orphanage, but I know this isn't realistic. :)

I'm also praying Mary gets her referral very soon! I want to see her daughter's beautiful little face!

I'll keep you posted!