WE GOT THE CALL!!!!!!

My morning started with thinking, well, it's friday, we probably will have to wait to get the call next week. I then went to work were I was taking my ACLS certification class and checked in on my email from a computer in the library. I saw a message from Stephanie and froze. She said people were getting calls! Oh my gosh! My body started to tremble, I felt nauseous, and grabbed my phone to make sure I hadn't missed a call. nothing. I then went into my class, told the instructor right away that I was expecting a phone call and If I got it I would be leaving!! Well at 0930 I got the call! I went into the hospital Lobby where a pianist was playing "How Greath Thou Art" in the background and I asked as many questions as I could think of about our daughter.

I then called Dan and we went through a whole spectrum of emotions on the phone together. Dan was driving to work and yelled out "I can't teach now!" :)

I then called my mom and talked like a chipmunk on speed I was so excited to tell her all I knew.

Then I went back into the classroom numb and in shock and the whole room stopped and cheered and clapped. I entered the classroom thinking I was getting my stuff and going home, but then just sat down! I knew Dan wasn't going to be home until later and I thought, well, I guess I'll finish this certification now, I need to right? As I sat there I thought, am I a bad mom! It felt all so surreal! I've heard of so many other's getting their call...but I got MY call!!! Lauren swirled through my mind and I couldn't eat lunch or think of anything else but... I am a mom!!

I just got home, Dan called and is on his way and we will then open our email together and see Lauren's face for the first time.

Here is what I know so far:

Her Chinese Name: Zhen Yu Yao
Birthday: August 5, 2007 (19 months old)
Providence: Guizhou
Orphanage: Social Welfare Institute of ZhenFeng county
Height: 27.6 inches
Weight: 15.6 pounds

The CHI social worker said she was looking at her picture and she looked "sad", but that I would bring a smile to her face soon. (this makes my heart cry). I noticed that her weight is well below the normal for her age, but I also know that the growth charts are different for asian girls and also that she will pick up her weight once we get her home.

The biggest heartbreak is that she is 19 months old. Since we had said as young as possible and no older than 12 months, I was expecting a little one who hadn't been waiting so long. I think of all I have done and all she has gone through without my being with her. Her first birthday, etc. I love her soo much. I want to be in China right now.

As soon as Danny gets home we will look at our daugher for the first time. I have the most amazing husband and I can't wait to see him be a daddy.

I will post her picture tonight.

I am filled with love, and tears, and wonder....

No call yet...

I have never checked my email, phone, or rumor queen more than I have the past few days!! Dan's cell phone broke two days ago and it was priority #1 to go and get a new phone Stat! He now has a new phone and we both have our cell phones glued to our hips. Thank you all for the emails, calls, etc. I really cannot tell you how much we appreciate having our family and friends brimming with excitement right along with us! :)

Hopefully, my next post is "the call" post!

Pearl River

Mom sent me the link to this awesome organization called Pearl River, I thought I would share it here. Also, check out Amazima ministry, the link is to the right.

While we keep our phones close by and are anxiously awaiting THE call, we are excited and having so much fun dreaming and preparing for our Lauren!

Our agency called the other day while I was at work, I called them back with my heart racing and my co-workers standing anxiously behind me, only to find that they were making sure they had the correct phone numbers and to see if I had any questions. I swear they are trying to send me over the edge! :)

I'll keep everyone posted as soon as I know anything!

Faith & Signs

I found I had time for a run yesterday and was so thankful for this much needed time to be alone and reflect. The weather was perfect, wisps of clouds and 70 degree weather. As I tuned out the world, watched the birds and rabbits, listened to my favorite tunes, my mind was able to reflect on these past 4 years of waiting for Lauren. The highs and lows, the doubts, patiently listening to strangers give their advice, the inspiration of friends and family, the friendships I have found on the way...the realization washed over me that we are next. Next to recieve our referral, next to see Lauren's sweet face.

My mind at times wandered also to how against all common sense our move is. At a time where the economy is faltering, people are losing their jobs... at a time that we should be saving...we are about to deplete our savings account and go to China. God reminded me at this time, of his clear signs he gave us at the beginning that seem so long ago now. The drive home from our Memorial Day camping trip in 2005, the night drive to San Diego a few months later, where Dan and I got chills the sign was so clear. The sign that we were to walk in faith and start the process of adopting our Lauren.

Well, little did I know I would be recieving another sign at the end of my run. As my mind swayed between doubt and excitement, I noticed school was just letting out as I ran by. Dollar signs, calculations, thoughts of my uncle who just lost his job were swarming my mind and then the sign...

A little 4-year-old Chinese girl with long black hair, pink pants and a flowered top came running right toward me with her arms stretched out..running as fast as she could with a huge smile on her face and looking what seemed to be directly at me. As she got closer I could hear her voice over my music saying, "Mommy!!" My heart dropped and tears almost sprang up. In seconds she ran just past me to her mom that was just behind me. I instantly looked up to the sky and knew God was giving me a glimpse into my future and letting me know, it will all be worth the wait and that God is in control. I will never forget these signs from God. He has been amazing over these years.

Thank you all who have followed our journey to Lauren. Please know you will be the first to know when I have seen her face. :)

I love all of you and am so thankful for your encouragement, letters, cards, friendships, encouraging words, and most of all for your Faith.

Waiting

Being next on our agencies list has brought me to a new level in this waiting process. What was once on the back burner, is now nearer than ever. What my heart guarded, my dreams and thoughts are now unchaining. Visions of her hands, her smile, her eyes, her laugh, surround my dreams these days. I still have yet to open completely, but the reality is there like never before...I am soon to be a mom.

Recently, I've also found myself drawing closer to God. Reading books I haven't read since my mission trip to India. Books like Keith Green's "A call in the Wilderness" and Amy Carmichael's "A Chance to Die". I find God giving me strength during what is one of the biggest faith steps I have ever taken. Because, accompanying my dreams of Lauren, are doubts and fears. Fears that she won't love me back, fears that attachment won't occur. Fears...which I know are the opposite of faith. I continue to push the fears aside and wait and believe that the words I heard from God years ago, are still true today.

An additional challenge lately has been my pediatric rotations for school. I am thoroughly enjoying the children and learning all I can to provide the best care I can for them. However, each time I sit and talk to a mom about the importance of attachment, benefits of breastfeeding, Trust vs. Mistrust phase of infancy, evidence that leaving a child to cry for long periods of time is not healthy...my heart tightens.

Dan and I watched Fireproof tonight and when I heard this song by John Waller, I thought, I've got to put that on my blog. The words could have been written by me right now.

Happy CNY!

We're just two water Ox, waiting in the year of the Ox, for our little Rat. :)

Not Us..This Month.

Just an update, the batch was not "us big", however, the CCAA has sent out referrals and they are now up to March 2, 2006. We are the next referral group for our agency, so we are very very close!! The next referral batch will go out around the beginning of March, so we will see if Lauren is matched with us at this time. For now, we are baby proofing the house, lowering the crib mattress, and thinking and praying for Lauren. As she lays in her crib, we are comforted by knowing God is with her.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement, excitement, and anticipation! I will keep you updated!

Time

After almost 3 years of watching from afar, there are signs that our time is just around the corner. Surreal...I sit at the computer putting in my school schedule and in the back of my mind, I wonder which day I will seat myself on a plane that will take me to my daughter. As I input my school dates, Dan is playing our messages from the bedroom. It's our adoption agency wanting to let us know we are very close to being matched and they want to talk about this next step for us. Us...they are calling us. I then check "Rumor Queen" and she is talking about rumors of a possible large batch this next month. How big? Us big???

Happy New Year!

(Dossier's being moved ahead! I wonder if one of these is ours!)

I hope you all had a great Holiday season! Dan and I had a fantastic time! I worked a lot the week of Christmas so that I could take some time off the following week (trying to save all my PTO for our trip to China). It was the first year we didn't put a tree up, which felt strange, but since we were not going to be home much it didn't seem to make sense to put up a tree. The 28th we celebrated Dan's brother's wedding and the 29th we headed up north to the Red Setter Inn. Ahhh...there is nothing like this place! We took the owner's up on their offer of free snow shoes and had a blast trekking through the snowy trails. Skiing was the best we have ever had as well. LOTS of snow and we had such a great time skiing, laughing, and falling together. :) I will post pictures soon. I don't have them downloaded off the camera yet.

As far as our little Lauren goes, we are getting closer! If you don't already know, the CCAA is now up to February 28, 2006. We are March 7,2006. So, Lauren has most likely been born, left by her loving birth mother in a safe place, found by a chinese man or women, and placed in the arms of her nanny at the orphanage and now awaiting us. From video's of orphanages in China, she is most likely enjoying tummy time at least once a day and is surrounded by her friends who, like her, are waiting for their mommies and daddies to come hold them and love them forever. We're coming Lauren!I can't wait to see your face for the first time. :)

My Favorite Time of Year

I love this time of year. Memories of Grandma's kitchen, laughing with family around a game of Monopoly or Trivia Pursuit, Dad kissing mom under the misseltoe, my cherished 3-story Barbie house gift, the year Rudolph got in the house and we found the kitchen chairs flipped upside down with carrot pieces scattered, waiting FOREVER for mom and dad to get ready so we could go downstairs and see what santa brought, the night I heard Santa say "ho ho ho" and I froze in bed and squeezed my eyes shut hoping he wouldn't know I was still awake, helping mom make pies, snuggling with dad after a big meal and learning about football and hearing dad yell at the ref's, walking down to the "corner store" to get last minute items, standing out in the quiet, cold, snow-filled night and looking in on my grandma's house filled with those I love and hearing the laughter and fun...Christmas is a magical time of year.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I pray you all are surrounded by those you love this Thanksgiving holiday.

As for Dan and I we will start the morning by running the Turkey Trot 5K and then head off to Dan's parents. Friday we will watch the Thanksgiving parade from DVR and put up Christmas decorations (and have a glass of eggnog or 2 I'm sure). Saturday morning I will bake pies and sweet potatoe casserole and we'll head to mom's for our Thanksgiving celebration at her house. Sunday we're going hiking on a new trail that was just created in our neighborhood.

A Step Closer

The CCAA recently matched waiting families with their precious daughters once again, thus moving our paperwork up in line. The cut off date was officially posted as 2/17/06. They are inching toward us and it is all starting to feel a little less surreal. I am watching families who are in China now and cannot even imagine that it will be us there soon.

M2

Having fun with my students last weekend. We are showing our "M2" sign which is the clinical group we are. :)

Need a little comic relief? Look on...

Boy Scout Video

Homestudy

We're off to meet our social worker at Starbuck's for our third homestudy! You know what they say, third times a charm! :)

Our Journey Thus Far

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Homestudy, expenses, doubt...answer.

As I wrote the check for our third home study and watched the market drop yet again, I questioned just how we were going to financially do all of this. Paperwork, plane tickets, mandatory donations, etc. are still to come after spending much of our savings on infertility treatments and our adoption paperwork thus far. As the CCAA moves closer to us, I have been filled with excitement and fear. So Dan and I prayed that God would show us a sign that we were still making the right decision and that we should continue to move forward. After writing the check I went to view our finances online and saw an unexpected scholarship was given to me and $1,200 was deposited into my account. Well, needless to say, we got our reply and we continue to step out in faith!

God is Good!!

By the way the CCAA has now matched up to 2/15/06...we are soo close!(Our LID is 3/7/06) Lauren is most likely born and waiting for us. I pray for her everyday and love her so much! We're coming Lauren!

Powerful Reminder

Fingerprints and more!

Just back from sending yet another set of fingerprints off to the courts! Friday we will fill out our I-600A and send this off and then set up our homestudy for the third time!

I went in to the UPS store to mail my fingerprints and the owner, who I got to know well when we were first putting our dossier together, almost fell over when he saw that I was still in the paperwork stage of our adoption. It did make me realize how LONG this process has been. I remember taking my little nephew as a newborn in with me to send dossier paperwork out, now he's 3 years old!

I have to say though, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. CCAA is less than a month away from our LID! woohoo! :)

Please Stop and Pray

I am passing on this request for prayer for this sweet little girl. This is a couple who recently went to get their little girl from China. Imagine all the waiting and work to get your baby girl, finally the time arrives that you have been hoping for, the time you will hold and love your daughter and take her home... and to find she is very ill and in the hospital.

This picture speaks a million words to me and just verifies that adoption is truly a miracle of God. I can only imagine the little girls perspective, she's sick, she doesn't have any parents that she knows of, and in walks "mommy and daddy". God IS so good.

Please pray this families paperwork will be processed quickly and that they can get their little girl to a place to receive the treatment she needs.

As a side note, I have no idea if her illness is connected with my previous post.

Health Crisis in China

6200 children and counting have been affected by a tainted formula scandal. The link below gives details. Please pray for these little ones, and I can only wonder if our little girls are being affected as well.

Tainted Baby Formula in China

9/11

Today we remember the tragedy that hit our country 7 years ago.

All week we have been watching our neighbor's girl in the mornings and I have been walking her to school each morning. Yesterday, I was floored when a little boy walked up to me and said, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" I said, "What?" (expecting him to say his birthday or something along those lines). Instead, he replied with a sad face, "The anniversary of the twin towers". Wow,I was encouraged to see this boy who was barely born at the time, affected by 9/11 and remembering.

Today, I witnessed children riding to school with American flags sticking out of their backpacks and I was taken aback again! Good signs for our future!

Labor Day Weekend

I was so excited for referrals that I haven't posted on our weekend away yet! It was interesting. I was going to title this post the good, the bad, and the priceless..

Dan and I started our weekend away after I finished teaching at 5 p.m. on Saturday. We first went to the ASU football season opener and they won (good), we sat next to a group of drunk adults who carried flasks of whiskey into the game and proceeded to talk and share pictures of their last guy's night out (bad). We then left the game and checked into the wonderful JW Marriott resort and spa (good).

We slept like babies (good) We had a beautiful buffet breakfast shown above (good). I scheduled a massage (good). While waiting for my massage in the relaxation room a women across from me fell asleep and was loudly snoring (bad). My massage therapist talked to me a lot and yes, adoption came up, and yes the laundry list of questions we have all been asked proceeded while I was getting my massage (bad).

I then went and woke my husband from his nap and we went swimming (good). We got burnt (bad). We then bought some playing cards and went down by the water where a band was playing and planned to order drinks and play cards (good).

Our room was beautiful and a wedding was performed right outside our balcony and I quietly sneaked out and sat and listened to the jewish wedding being performed (good). At night,we layed outside under the stars and talked for a long time (good). We then proceeded to our room for the night and fell asleep at midnight (good). We were awaken by screaming, laughing, ("Janice from Friends" kind of laughing)(bad). 30 min. later, still sounded like a frat party next door, called security, security came, quiet for 2 minutes, frat party starts again, security called again, security came, quiet for 5 minutes, frat party again.(bad)

We get up, pack our stuff and checkout at 2 a.m.(bad) The hotel apologized profusely and offered us a luxury room ,etc. I just wanted to go home by this point...left the hotel and a terrential downpour began, leaving us completly soaked by the time we got the luggage in the car (bad). We sat in the car laughing (good). We went home, slept, picked up Bailey from my mom's and at 10 a.m. the next morning, I was snuggled in bed between my husband and my pup and realized home is better than any 5 star hotel..priceless.

Referral Update!

I received the following email from our agency today..my heart did a little flip! They are less than one month away from OUR LID!!

Children's Hope International received 22 referrals today, September 2, 2008. There were 21 beautiful girls and one handsome little boy in this group of referrals. The families that received referrals had LID's of February 9, 2006 and there was one Chinese expedited family with a LID of January 22, 2007. The children are from Beijing and the Jiangxi, Shaanxi, and the Guangdong Provinces. These beautiful children ranged in ages of 5 months to 9 months old. In addition there was a 29 month old, a 3 year one month old, 3 year 2 month old, 3 year 11 month old, and a 4 year 1 month. The parents that received the children over 24 months fell within the range of what the families requested or the parents were with in the age guidelines for a toddler. Congratulations to all of these families!

Families waited 31 months for their referrals and the Chinese expedited families waited 19 months. The CCAA sent referrals out for families with LID's of 2/1/06 through 2/9/06. The next LID for Children's Hope families is 2/17/06.

Weekend...ahhhh

I cannot wait for Dan to come home tonight! It will be the start of a great weekend! I teach tomorrow until 5, then off to the ASU football season opener, then we check in to our favorite local resort, order a margarita, schedule my massage, and do nothing but relax the next two day. As Mary says, spaaaaahhhhh. ;)I hope you all have a fabulous Labor Day weekend!

Teaching

I taught my first class last night and LOVED it! It was nice to finally start after all the preparation, planning, shopping,etc. It is so much fun teaching the subject I'm passionate about! Saturday is our first lab where the students get to have fun with hands on things such as learning to do blood pressures, injections, etc. I'm looking forward to that too. :) Life is good!

Lauren

Thinking of Lauren today, images of holding her, smelling her, loving her, crept into my devotion time today. Despite doubts Dan and I have had through this winding road of 2+years, faith and these images keep us taking one day, one step at a time, toward our baby girl.

Happy Monday!

Drumroll please...

Ta Da!!





Just kidding!...here's the new do! :)

Short Hair

I recently was using my hair straightner and it somehow got too hot and burnt my hair! After conditioning treatments, etc. etc. (etc., etc. meaning I cut my own hair in desperation with the kitchen scissors)...I went to my hair stylist yesterday. After telling her what I did we tried to mend it, but is was no use, I had to cut my hair...short, shorter than I have ever had it...

As I sat in the chair thinking about how I was going to have to drastically cut my hair, I thought of it!! Wait a minute..expecting mom's always cut their hair!! This must be an omen! Lauren must be coming soon! I told my hairdresser and she totally agrees..it's definetly an omen...hehe..

8/8/08!!

Let the games begin!!



Did you catch the story of Lin Hao during the opening ceremonies? He is a 9-year-old survivor of the recent earthquake. 20 of his 30 classmates died in the earthquake. He survived, pulled himself out of the rubble, and saved 3 of his fellow classmates by pulling them from the rubble. His response to his actions that day? "...I'm the class leader, the hall monitor...it was my job."

Chapman Family

Just finished watching Steven Curtis Chapman and his family on "Larry King Live". What struck me the most in their testimony of such a tragedy in their lives is through their questions, anger, and grief...they had and have hope. The contrast was startling as they went to commercials about the campaign trail, etc., etc., that what is really important is investing in those we love and loving He who created us.

Mary Beth Chapman said at the end... "even in the deepest, darkest hours we may have landed flat on our faces..but we landed on a foundation".

Reunion

During college, I had the privilege of being a nanny to a very special boy who I grew to love like my own son. He was our ring bearer in our wedding and very special to both Dan and I. He moved out of state....time went by and we lost touch. Well, excitedly, about a month ago Dan and I saw him on a hockey site and were blown away! Here he is a young man now! We wrote a note to him on his hockey team guestbook and since than we have been reunited in our friendship and it has filled my heart with joy. More than anything, I am so happy to see his sweet heart has not been calloused by life. I believe our reuniting has been God-driven and am reminded of how good God is.

Samantha Brown in China!

I absolutely love Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel and she is doing a special on China starting tomorrow. I saw a sneak preview of it yesterday and it is awesome! Check it out on Samantha Brown: Passport to China

Great Read

I finished reading this book recently and it has had such an impact on me. I am not one for which tears flow often and this book brought out emotions and tears in even me.

It's a book about romance, but not a romance novel. If your looking for a great read this summer, I would recommend it, especially for those who are married. Lately it seems a high volume of friends and coworkers are having difficulty in their marriages. Though Dan and I have a great marriage, this book and my friends stories, as well as my own parents divorce has opened my heart and made me cherish even more deeply my marriage. It has also raised my awareness that it is the "little" things that slowly corrode a marriage.

Summertime!

I hope everyone is having a great summer so far!! We have been enjoying some cloud cover and rain recently and, although this may sound crazy to some of you in the Midwest, this is very welcome weather to us in Arizona :)

Enjoy!

Summer Update!

This is a pic of a beach in China...just a few people :)

Our Agency sent an update today. The CCAA is now finished with dossier's up to January 25,2006. We've been bumped up yet again!! We're getting closer Lauren!

I hope you all are enjoying the summer! I'm enjoying my patho class and am excited to be planning my clinical sites for next semester. It's starting to feel real that I'm going to be a N.P. Dan and I are planning a "vacation" at home next week. We both have 6 days off and we are going to enjoy walking Bailey, sleeping in and just being together.

Happy Birthday My Love!

My DH turned 35 yesterday! I am so blessed to spend my life with this incredible man. Anyone who has ever met him will agree that to know him is to love him. His energy and passion for life and people is like none I have ever known. Since he'entered my life...I've had the time of my life.

Remembering to Rely

I saw this picture on Seventh Diamond's blog and thought it pretty much summed up my morning thoughts. As I was driving back home after dropping Dan off at work, my mind was racing as to when Lauren might arrive, how much the cost of airline tickets will be by then, etc. etc. and than a thought passed through my mind. Oh yeah, God is in control. I so often forget this and take hold of the reigns myself. I like to be in the driver's seat, however, life is so much more peace-filled when I rely on Him.

Nine Years Ago Today...

Nine years ago today I showered while singing "going to the chapel" (later to find out he did the same thing). Nine years ago today my 5'1" mom was driving all of my out of town relatives around in a huge white rental van. Nine years ago today I danced the Macarena, bunny hop, chicken dance, and the Waltz with my husband. Nine years ago today, my groom and I forgot all the moves we had rehearsed for our Waltz and looked into eachother's eyes and just "winged it".

Nine years ago today I married my best friend and could not have imagined how wonderful life was going to be as his wife.

Ouch

My DH broke his left radial bone in his Jiu Jitsu class last week. Can you see the fracture in the picture? He'll be in a cast for 6-8 weeks. :(

11 Days

The past 11 days have been blissful. I cannot remember feeling this relaxed. We started our vacation by going camping up in Flagstaff. Despite it being the coldest camping trip we have ever been on, we had a blast...


Bailey enjoyed herself as well...


An attempt to get a family picture by the fire :)


We played games including Star Wars Stratego and Yahtzee. I rolled a yahtzee on my first roll! (We laughed until we cried trying to get this shot)

Did I mention Bailey enjoyed herself? She was thrilled to find that our new tent had a door just for her! ;)

The wind was howling when we left and Dan got this shot of the tent flying away as we were trying to take it down.

Life is good!